Thankfully, Mitch McConnell And Donald Trump Are Two Guys You Can Definitely Trust…

"Let’s hope the realpolitik guys are right here, and that this isn’t the fuckup it looks like at the moment."

By Doktor Zoom as originally published over at Wonkette and reposted here with permission 


Welp, looks like Senate Democrats have folded and agreed to reopen the government in exchange for a promise that after the government reopens, Mitch McConnell will definitely for sure really allow the Senate to vote on a bill to grant permanent immigration status to those covered by DACA. The Senate voted 81 to 18 to fund the government through February 8, apparently selling out the Dreamers for … well, CHIP. They got CHIP, which is a good thing that both parties used to agree was a good thing. You’ll forgive us though if we don’t take McConnell’s word on a vote on DACA — especially because, just before the voting got underway, Mitch McConnell was still referring to DACA recipients as “illegal immigrants.” What the hell are you people thinking, trusting Mitch McConnell and Donald Trump? (To to be clear, Trump didn’t even promise the wet fart McConnell did.)

Needless to say, The Whole Damn Internet is skeptical of this supposed step toward a moderate, bipartisan solution:

California Democrat Kamala Harris was more of a HELL NO than just a NO:

Still, there were a few people, like ShareBlue’s Eric Boehlert, arguing that with CHIP reauthorized for six years, finally, and another funding bill to pass in three weeks, Republicans won’t be able to pull the “sick kids or illegal immigrants” trick a second time, and if no progress is made on DACA, Dems will have the chance to force a second shutdown where DACA would be the only issue. We aren’t sure they have the ovaries to actually do that. Do they?

Washington Monthly’s John Stoehr would like us to stop panicking too, please:

Let’s hope the realpolitik guys are right here, and that this isn’t the fuckup it looks like at the moment. At the very least, this means making it damn clear to Democrats in Congress that any more waffling on DACA is unacceptable (hell, this vote looks unacceptable if you ask us). Mitch McConnell is a snake, and Donald Trump has already demonstrated that he can’t be trusted to protect those wonderful Dreamer kids he cares so much about, since they might also be those terrible DACA illegal immigrants, too.

Christ, we’d say the only real solution is to end the Republican majority in Congress this fall, but we’re not even certain a Democratic takeover of both houses would result in Dems not tripping all over their own dicks.

Here are the Democrats to respect (And a couple of Rs who have their own weird reasons to vote no):

We don’t know whether this is brilliant strategy, the best choice available, or the huge cave it feels like at this moment. You tell us!

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5 comments on “Thankfully, Mitch McConnell And Donald Trump Are Two Guys You Can Definitely Trust…

  1. refer to this sentence taken from almost the end of the article: “Christ, we’d say the only real solution is to end the Republican majority in Congress this fall, but we’re not even certain a Democratic takeover of both houses would result in Dems not tripping all over their own dicks.”

    I suggest we install less dicks in Congress and let the ladies run things!

  2. Schumer is a Galitzianer. He thinks he’s smarter than he is and not smarter than he needs to be. Harvard undergrad and law school with honors simply doesn’t prepare you for the likes of these post-Republicans. They are wearing brass knuckles and Chuck’s wearing is newest pair of white gloves for TV.

    Negotation Lessons include life lessons: Don’t start a fight if you don’t have an end game that *doesn’t* make you look weaker then you already are. Blech.

    • Geesh Marty, I had to spend time finding out what the hell that Galitzianer was…is there no end to your knowledge?

      Here’s what I read:

      Here’s what it said: Galitzianers are a subdivision of the Ashkenazim geographically originating from Galicia, from western Ukraine (current Lviv, Ivano-Frankivsk, and Ternopil regions) and from the south-eastern corner of Poland (Podkarpackie and Lesser Poland voivodeships). Galicia proper, which was inhabited by Ukrainians, Poles and Jews, was a royal province within the Austro-Hungarian empire. Galician Jews primarily spoke Yiddish.

      I think I learned this: “In the popular perception, Galitzianers were considered to be more emotional and prayerful than their rivals, who thought of them as irrational and uneducated.”

      When it comes to civilized society and these DACA youths, the statistics seem to indicate huge support of them staying in America. We should support Schumer even though he may be the wrong type to fight this battle. The brass knuckles usually have weak minds.

      One more, the cream always rises to the top. Please don’t blech on me! 🙂

      • Thanks for the laugh, Murphy! Schumer definitely has his heart in the right place and the DACA children deserve all America’s support, no question about it. And the shutdown may have had it’s place in seeking to leverage preservation of DACA, permanent protection for the Dreamers, have CHIP put in place for six years or more, and the other items on the list best laid out by CT’s Senator Blumenthal, but from the start Dems path to a positive outcome could not be readily seen unless they stayed the course and caused Republicans to cave and hand Dems the results they sought which seemed highly unlikely.

        Yet, after three days deems are now handing Trump his wall!! That’s sure doesn’t energize the dems’ base!

        As an aside, the feud of the Galitzianers and Litvaks is centuries old, and I’m sure plays no conscious role in Chuck’s thinking. As a son of an exterminator, I’d like to see him use more of that side of his brain than the part of his brain that helped him achieve 1600 on the SATs and class valedictorian from James Madison High School. Maybe if he practiced law before going right into politics he might have learned something about street fighting and using brass knuckles. 🙂

        Who knows, it’s a lot easier to sit in an armchair and judge then be in the pits and work your ass off like these men and women do!

        • Hey Marty! 🙂

          That WALL is trump’s demise – hugely unpopular and just plain stupid – opinions on both sides of our border with Mexico, our good friend and alliance. trump’s base should be more angry with him than anyone since they will be paying for it and NOT Mexico — he got himself into that no win jam when Mexico basically told him to go to hell.

          And the WALL will do what – keep out grass – hell half the United States has approved it or are considering it. His new war on drugs, opioids, must be fought with the pharmacy companies and lazy doctors, within our own borders! fool.

          So he assigns some teenager Kirstjen Nielsen (the one who does not know if the people in Norway are white people) (right, Kirsten with a j inserted is unsure about Norway?) No other words on that subject are really necessary. I sure liked Cory Booker’s take-down of that little princess. Her intelligence level was tanked.

          I don’t think that fight for wall and DACA is really over yet. I also doubt that wall will actually be built — there may be some repairs here and there that they all agree can be done but I doubt there will ever be a see-through solar energy project being built!

          His entire campaign rants were built on lies and innuendos and they are all being proven wrong or cannot be done — an exhausting and frustrating fight every day — with the entire world watching.

          It’s like seeing a full dress clown go crazy – no wonder so many people have a fear of clowns!

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