That bull had integrity.

That’s your absurd quote of the day and it comes from sculptor Alex Gardega who, as the New York Post writes, is seething over the “Fearless Girl” statue being placed across from Wall Street’s “Charging Bull.”

For those unfamiliar with the backstory, State Street placed a statue of a defiant child across from the famous “Charging Bull” earlier this year as part of an effort to promote International Women’s Day and supercharge a campaign the firm is spearheading to push companies it works with to hire more ­female employees.

Here’s The Atlantic with a bit of useful background information:

The “Fearless Girl” statue, a bronze sculpture of a young girl with her hands on her hips, standing defiantly in front of Wall Street’s Charging Bull has certainly made an impression.

Placed to celebrate International Women’s Day, some proclaimed the installment an “instant icon,” and an online online petition to make the statue permanent gained over 40,000 signatures. In recent weeks, however, the sculpture has garnered a different type of response.

Some have derided the statute as “fake corporate feminism,” suggesting that the statue is less about promoting gender equity than it is a publicity stunt. They see the installment as a successful marketing coup masquerading as a message of female empowerment, or Wall Street pinkwashing. Others lament the use of a young girl’s image to represent the ambitions and goals of grown women.

This week, Arturo Di Modica, the sculptor who created the famous Charging Bull statue that has stood in Manhattan’s Financial District since 1989, added his voice to the dissenters. The artist held an emotional press conference during which he said the Fearless Girl was “attacking the bull” he’d created. He also accused the statue’s backers of copyright infringement. (No lawsuit has been filed as of yet.)

Now for one thing, Di Modica seems to be suffering from delusions of grandeur.

“Charging Bull” isn’t the goddamn “David.”

It’s a cartoonish piece of bronze that any pigeon in the city can take a shit on whenever the mood strikes.

But beyond that, this idea that “Fearless Girl” is a “threat” to “Charging Bull” seems to miss another important point: namely that they are fucking statues. One isn’t a “threat” to the other anymore than the banana resting across from the box of cereal sitting on my kitchen counter is a “threat” to Cheerios.

Finally, it’s interesting to me that the President of the United States can invite Ted Nugent and Kid Rock to the White House and allow them to pose in front of a portrait of Hillary Clinton like they’re at a photoshoot for a low-budget rap album, but State Street can’t put up a statue of a young girl with her hands on her hips in front of a bronze bull.

Well all of this is apparently lost on Alex Gardega (the sculptor mentioned here at the outset), because he decided that what he would do is install his own creation (“Pissing Pug”) next to “Fearless Girl.”

That’s right, Gardega is vicariously taking a piss (his leg lifted) on the shoe of a child.

It’s also worth noting that “Pissing Pug” is a “piss”-poor piece of sculpture. It looks like something Rodin might have made when he was falling-down drunk only to cast it into the ocean the next day when he slept it off.

But the fact that it’s a terrible piece of work is intentional, Gardega insists. “I decided to build this dog and make it crappy to downgrade the statue, exactly how the girl is a downgrade on the bull,” he explained.

Well let me tell you what Alex – and this is a promise – if I ever meet you in person, I will piss on your leg.

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