Trump Wakes Up, Says Porn Stars Are Making Up Tom Bradys, Says He’s Excited To Meet Kim Jong-Un

The President wishes you a happy Wednesday.

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Which One Of You Is Buying South Korean Stocks Now That The Nuclear War Has Been Postponed?

News that Donald Trump is prepared to meet Kim Jong-Un for what will undoubtedly be one of the most hilarious photo ops in political history was enough to help Asian shares close the week on a high note. 

Kim Jong-Un, Trump To Meet ‘By May’

CHUNG SAYS TRUMP, NORTH KOREA’S KIM WILL MEET BY MAY

If You’re Calling North Korea’s Nuclear Olive Branch A Victory For Trump, You’re Probably A Trump Whore

So in other words, Kim will tell you he’s destroyed his nukes (just like Bashar al-Assad will swear he has no chemical weapons) if everyone acquiesces to letting a repressive regime that starves its own people and murders dissenters remain in power. 

Asia Rally Dies On The Vine, But On The Bright Side, There’s A German Coalition

Ok, so there’s good news on Wednesday morning and there’s also some not-so-good news.

Japanese Stocks Routed, Kosdaq Collapses As Global Stocks React To Wall Street Turmoil

So you tell me: “healthy correction” or “global rout”?

In Asia: A Sea Of Red On Tuesday

The screens are red. Might need to reboot.

‘Tremendous Benefits’: Full Week Ahead Preview

Ok, who’s ready to grab the new week by the…

Oh, The Humanity! Asian Shares Dive As Tech Wreck Wreaks Havoc On Hong Kong

Well on Wednesday, things got worse – and materially so. 

Tech Selloff Hits Hong Kong As Tencent Tumbles Out Of Half-Trillion Club

“Today’s turmoil in the region’s tech stocks was sparked by the sell-off in their peers on Wall Street last night.”

‘It’s Worrying That One Report Can Do This’: Samsung Downgrade Triggers Foreign Exodus From Korea Shares

That would be the biggest exodus of overseas money since August 11, in the immediate aftermath of “fire and fury.”

Leftovers: Full Week Ahead Preview

Ok, look: if you’re still hungover from a combination of turkey, greasy mashed potatoes, and copious amounts of not-quite-top-shelf red wine, it’s time to snap out of it because last week is melting into this week as tends to happen historically on Sundays.

What Global Selloff?

“…the nagging fear that the boy who cried wolf was only telling the truth when everyone had learnt to ignore him.”

‘You Know What? It’s Fine.’

There’s always tomorrow…

Tennessee Is 137,000 Retirees Worth Of Sure That South Korea Isn’t Going To Get Nuked

Famous last words? “The long-term history with this situation is that it’s a lot of posturing and not much reality.”