Apparel & Merchandise Policies

Payments

When you purchase apparel or other merchandise from our official online store, your payment is processed securely through PayPal, regardless of whether you use a card or your own PayPal account.

Processing & Shipping

When you place an order, you can expect the following correspondence:

  1. A receipt from PayPal for the payment
  2. A confirmation email directly from us confirming your order, including an expected time frame for delivery
  3. A second email directly from us informing you when your order is processed. At that point, your order will be shipped

You should check your spam folder for these emails. If you notice that one is labeled spam, you should mark it “not spam” to ensure you receive the subsequent emails both for your current order and any future orders you may make. Although all PayPal correspondence should be delivered promptly, some email clients may not handle our automated updates as expected. You can always request information on your order using the address provided below.

Fulfillment times (the time from the moment your order is placed with us until it is ready to ship to you) are 2–7 business days. That does not include shipping. While we certainly understand that you would rather your item be processed in 2 days versus 7 days, we have provided you with the manufacturer’s guidance so that you are aware that fulfillment could take up to one full week. Under exigent circumstances, fulfillment times could be longer. For reference, according to information provided to us by the manufacturer, 97.7% of orders are shipped within 5 business days. We do not guarantee that. It is simply the information that we were provided. We have tested this process for dozens of items, and based on our experience, the fulfillment guidance is accurate.

Although we have not been told of delays associated with holidays, common sense suggests that major holidays could delay manufacturer fulfillment times, so we ask that you take that into consideration.

Shipping times are indicated on the checkout page, and are consistent with shipping times for similar items. In most cases, items ship from the United States. Therefore, if you reside outside of the US, you should expect longer shipping times.

Note: We do have considerable visibility into the fulfillment process and we do monitor each order. If necessary, we can check on individual orders at your request. However, we politely ask that you consult the guidance on this page before emailing us with inquiries into individual items. We have done our absolute best to provide you with total transparency into how this process works, so please ensure you have read everything above before reaching out with more specific inquiries.

Returns 

Generally speaking, all sales are final and no refunds will be issued, with some common sense exceptions. Let’s start with those.

You can request a refund if your product is defective, if your product is damaged, or if your product is lost in transit.

In the extremely unlikely event you receive merchandise which you believe to be defective or damaged, you should submit two pictures of the defective item to us at the email address given below. We will then submit a problem report to the manufacturer on your behalf to begin the reshipment process, and keep you updated along the way.

You should be sure that you provide an accurate address. If you provide an address that is considered insufficient by the courier (e.g., if you provide the wrong address), the shipment will be returned to the manufacturer. You will be liable for reshipment costs once we have confirmed an updated address with you.

If you believe a package has been lost in transit, you should notify us, as claims to our manufacturer must be submitted no later than four weeks after the estimated delivery date. That said, the estimated delivery date will generally provide us a sizable cushion on top of the 2-7 business day guidance on fulfillment. So, while you are encouraged to notify us if you truly believe there has been a shipping error, the manufacturer provides ample time for the situation to be resolved. You should be patient and allow a reasonable amount of time for your item to be delivered.

We do not refund orders for buyer’s remorse. The visuals you see on the product pages are very accurate. What you see is what you will receive. We have personally reviewed physical examples of each item we sell and there is a quality control check at the manufacturer before the item is mailed.

Additionally, we cannot and will not refund orders in the event you select the “wrong” size for yourself. There is a linked size guide on each item offered and you should consult it. Additionally, there is nothing “unique” about our sizing. Whatever size you normally wear, that’s the size you should generally order.

Obviously, if you receive a different size than the size you ordered, we will process a return. In the extremely unlikely event you select one size and receive a different size, you can simply send photo evidence (in this case, a single photo of the inside tag will suffice), which we will then check against your order, and begin the reshipment process.

You should contact us, and only us, if you have an issue with a product shipment. You should not attempt to ship items back to the return address on your package. It is set by default to the manufacturer’s facility. Generally speaking, we would receive an automated email notification in the event a customer returns an item to that facility, but that could lead to material delays in processing.

(Note: We have no control over any COVID-19 related supply chain issues. If we are ever notified that fulfillment times are longer than usual due to the pandemic, we will make that clear on the item product pages. Currently, we have no reason to believe any orders would be delayed due to such concerns nor have we experienced any such delays ourselves.)

Meet the apparel here or go straight to the shop

For all apparel and merchandise inquiries, contact: walt@heisenbergreport.com