By Evan Hurst as originally published over at Wonkette and reposted here with permission
Are you familiar with Turning Point USA, the campus group for only the coolest, conservative racist college kids in the whole land? It is a thing! Here is its BMOC founder, Charlie Kirk:
If that picture didn’t make you slide off your chair, keep reading, because this is the story of how that guy’s group put on a really cool awesome funtimes event for only the most popular conservative racist high school kids in America in Washington DC on Tuesday morning.
Attorney General Jefferson “Butterscotch” Sessions addressed the group, who broke out in the most popular high school chant of socially well-adjusted teenagers who are good at sports everywhere, which is “LOCK HER UP! LOCK HER UP!”
And ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, that tickled the attorney general! Butterscotches remembers when he was a young 69-year-old little feller, doing Russian collusions with the Russian ambassador on the Trump campaign (it’s why he’s recused now!) and all the Adorable Deplorables who came to see Trump would scream “LOCK HER UP!” at the top of their lungs while raising their armpits in the air and sharing their special Trump supporter smells with each other in an act of blind nationalist rage!
Let’s watch Gigglebritches makin’ giggles in his britches:
Sessions even joined in with the kids one time! “LOCK HER UP!”
This is totally normal because Jeff Sessions is the top law enforcement official in the entire United States, and he’s giggling with a bunch of teenagers who definitely know stuff chanting “LOCK HER UP!” about a former presidential candidate, secretary of State and first lady.
For what crime? Oh, let’s not burden them with the hard questions, that’s not how Trump’s America works!
But hey, both sides do it obviously, because remember LORETTA LYNCH BILL CLINTON TARMAC BENGHAZI!!!!!1???????
Oh wait, that is not the same thing. It wasn’t even actually a thing.
But remember that time Bobby Kennedy …