Donald Trump Will Always Be An ‘Alpha Dog’ To Morgan Ortagus, No Matter How Many Porn Stars Spank Him

The entire world is still trying to make sense of what unfolded on the geopolitical stage over the past five days.

Over the weekend, Trump of course flew up to Canada for a series of truly absurd photo ops with G-7 leaders, all of whom are desperately attempting to stay on whichever one of his shoulders angel-Trump sits and off of the other shoulder where David Dennison, Steve Bannon and Peter Navarro take turns whispering not-so-sweet nothings into his ear about everything from trade to the relative merits of adopting a domestic policy based on the white supremacist movement.

Whatever good will was left after the G-7 was summarily set on fire by Trump’s subsequent tweets about Justin Trudeau, tweets that were fired off as the President was literally en route to his historic summit with a murderous dictator.

Peter Navarro then pissed on the smoldering ashes of America’s relationship with Canada by condemning Trudeau to actual hell on Sunday.

Peter would later apologize, but suggesting that Satan has a spot reserved for the Canadian prime minister isn’t exactly something one can just sweep under the rug – especially when it comes from a notorious trade hawk whose claim to fame is a documentary that features a Bowie knife with a yuan note wrapped around the handle literally stabbing America in the heart(land) on the promotional poster.

And you know, if Trump were serious about trying to de-escalate tensions with America’s allies (and by “allies” I mean the traditional ones, not our newfound friends in  Pyongyang who, as late as last month, were still threatening to nuke us) you’d think he would tell Fox News to tone down the rhetoric.

But then again, it’s not entirely clear which way the causation runs in the Trump-Fox relationship. It’s a reality distortion loop, but it very often seems like Fox is effectively dictating policy as opposed to Trump making policy and then Fox validating it.

With that in mind, check out the following clip which finds Morgan Ortagus explaining how Donald Trump is her “alpha dog”:

 

You sure about that Morgan?

Because when it comes to whether Donald Trump is an “alpha” or otherwise predisposed to being the dom., I know one person who would tell you that when it comes right down to it, he’d rather just pull his pants down and get spanked with a rolled up magazine…

sotmry

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