‘What Is She, 60 Pounds?’: Trump Explains How He’ll Appoint 4 SCOTUS Justices

Ok, so you’re the President of the United States and you’ve been in office for nearly 10 months. You’ve spent a lot of time firing people, hiring other people, purging anyone you think is disloyal, and just generally reshuffling the furniture in an effort to insulate yourself from elements you deem subversive. And yet you can’t seem to stop the leaks.

Indeed, every day something else you said in private gets leaked to the press. Furthermore, the leaks can no longer be explained by spitefulness, sour grapes, people plotting against you internally, etc. In fact, the latest leaks don’t seem to have any discernible strategic utility for whoever the leakers are at all.

If you were the President and you found yourself in that situation, what conclusion would you likely come to? The logical conclusion might go something like this: maybe the things I’m saying are crazy.

 

Because if you’ve purged everyone who is disloyal and if it isn’t readily apparent that a given leak would in any way benefit the person doing the leaking, then it very well could be that the leakers are trying to warn the public that you are either crazy, dangerous, or both.

And that brings us very neatly to Sunday evening and a new Axios exclusive, according to which Donald Trump reportedly thinks he’s going to have appointed four Supreme Court justices by the end of his first term.

How is that possible you ask? Well, let Axios explain Trump’s “reasoning”:

Asked how he comes to that jaw-dropping number, Trump mentions the obvious: he’s already replaced Antonin Scalia with Neil Gorsuch, and there are rumors Anthony Kennedy will retire.

“Ok,” one source told Trump, “so that’s two. Who are the others?”

“Ginsburg,” Trump replied. “What does she weigh? 60 pounds?”

“Who’s the fourth?” the source asked.

“Sotomayor,” Trump said, referring to the relatively recently-appointed Obama justice, whose name is rarely, if ever, mentioned in speculation about the next justice to be replaced. “Her health,” Trump explained. “No good. Diabetes.”

That’s right, folks: Donald Trump is kinda, sorta hoping that Ginsburg and Sotomayor die in the next three or so years.

Just when you thought it couldn’t possibly get any worse, it invariably does.

Speak your mind

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

5 thoughts on “‘What Is She, 60 Pounds?’: Trump Explains How He’ll Appoint 4 SCOTUS Justices

  1. Well, if assface wants to go that route he needs to buy a full length mirror! His eating habits and sleeping habits, having two scoops of ice cream, sitting on his ass watching tv all day, riding his golf carts instead of walking his stupid golf courses, fuming about the negative news, fighting with people all the time… I bet there are millions of people across America thinking “don’t worry” the next president will soon be replacing this lard ass Loser!

  2. “That’s right, folks: Donald Trump is kinda, sorta hoping that Ginsburg and Sotomayor die in the next three or so years.”

    Seems only fair, H, as I’m betting there are tens of millions around the world that are hoping that Trump dies or enters an irreversible coma in the next three minutes or so.

    Of course, I’m not one of those tens of millions around the world. I reside in the US, and have more couth than that. Right, Murphy?

  3. I dunno, guys. Pence is an even bigger creep than Trump. And unlike Trump, Pence isn’t a total “fucking moron” (shoutout to Rex Tillerson), he’s got Congressional experience. Pence could possibly get a few things done, for realzies.

    Be careful what you wish for, you may get it.

    1. I am not afraid of a man who calls his wife ‘mother’. And, yes he is also a fucking moron. Anyone who would kowtow to trump is worthless — and Indiana threw a huge party when he left them. He is not a popular guy. If everybody does their share of putting democrats in those republican seats next year, this shit will come to an end!

NEWSROOM crewneck & prints