Heisenberg Hate Mail Bag: “Dirty Dogs,” Monkeys, & Bisexual Frogs

Let me just begin by saying that when you go out and you attempt to defend Alex Jones (of “InfoWars” fame) you are begging to be made a fool of.

Just ask the people who are literally defending him in a custody battle with his ex-wife Kelly Jones.

See Kelly thinks maybe Alex isn’t a fit parent. To support that contention she’s relying on the following “flimsy” logic:

He’s not a stable person. He says he wants to break Alec Baldwin’s neck. He wants [Jennifer Lopez] to get raped.

And the thing is, it would be easier for Alex to refute that type of thing if it weren’t for the fact that everything he says is videotaped and distributed to millions of loyal viewers.

Here’s an example of what Kelly is talking about:

 

Right. Or maybe “wrong.” Because no Alex, that’s not “what [humans] act like.” At least not “humans” who were born anytime in the past oh… 100,000 or so years.

As Stephen Colbert recently put it, “clips like that make Jones seem less like a fit parent and more like a coked out football coach in a police standoff.”

Ok, so earlier today, while detailing what Reuters says was a coordinated attempt on the part of the Kremlin to sway the US electorate ahead of last year’s election, we said the following with regard to the alt-Right blogs that we contend were part of that effort:

… this was much more dangerous because unlike Breitbart, the sites I’m talking about weren’t (and still aren’t) burdened by a concurrent effort to cultivate a quasi-legitimate image. That is, they’re just “legitimate” enough to be taken seriously by large numbers of people, but not legitimate enough to worry about the reputational consequences of doing things like citing Alex Jones (who once contended that the lining of juice boxes was turning frogs into bisexuals), or running with wild stories about the return of McCarthyism or about the CIA hiding in your PS4.

One reader (“Joe”) took us to task on that bolded bit. Specifically, here’s what Joe said:

You Heisenbergers are dirty dogs on this one. You intentionally slid in the word “bisexual” instead of hemaphrodite. Shame on you. You intentionally mislead.

“like citing Alex Jones (who once contended that the lining of juice boxes was turning frogs into bisexuals)”

BPA used to be found in juice boxes and many canned goods. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bisphenol_A

BPA indeed causes sexual development in frogs: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/common-herbicide-turns-male-frogs-into-females/

https://www.infowars.com/bpa-death-by-plastic-special-report/

Gee, that fact check took me 5 minutes. Guess that’s too much for you Heisenburgers to do. Don’t get confused with the facts!

Ok, Joe. Let’s take “5 minutes” and look for the “facts.”

See we didn’t say anything about BPA or hemaphrodite frogs. What we said was “Alex Jones once contended that the lining of juice boxes was turning frogs into bisexuals.”

But there would appear to be some ambiguity here, so let’s go to Alex Jones for the tiebreaker:

 

And then this:

 

So you know, draw your own conclusions there.

Or actually, you don’t even have to draw your own conclusions because Alex will also happily explain to you how he views his own broadcasts. Alex?…

 

Yes, “sometimes Alex hears his show and it sounds like” the best thing in the world. Other times it sounds like “a monkey doin’ you know what with a football.”

Which is a lot like the reader mail we get here at the Heisenberg Report. Sometimes it sounds like the best thing in the world, and other times it sounds like a monkey fucking a football.

“Joe’s” mail falls into the latter category.

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3 thoughts on “Heisenberg Hate Mail Bag: “Dirty Dogs,” Monkeys, & Bisexual Frogs

  1. …..and by the by am proud to be a member of the Heisenbergers, it kinda has a nice regal sound to it like the Habsbergers of royal Austria, thanks Joe.

    Like

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